Sexologist

Problems in the area of sex often remain undiscussed. We don’t talk about it with friends or family, and even among themselves, couples sometimes find it difficult to report sexual dissatisfaction. We tend to think that if you love each other, the sex will go well by itself, right? But the one does not always have to do with the other. You really don’t need to be ashamed of problems with sex. And the good news is that many problems can be easily remedied. A sex therapist offers support.

What can a sex therapist help with?

A sex therapist is a therapist or doctor who specializes in problems with sex and sexuality. There is a wide variety of problems that a sex therapist can help you with.

• No desire for sex: by far the most common problem is a lack of or a difference in the need for sex between two partners. Sexual need is different for each individual and stage of life, but can also have other causes.
• Pain during intercourse: it is usually women who suffer from pain during intercourse. Pain can occur after surgery or childbirth, or as a result of illness. Underlying psychological problems, such as trauma in the sexual area, can also cause pain during intercourse.
• Erection problems: men often suffer more often from erection problems, such as premature ejaculation or just difficulty creating or maintaining an erection.
• Sex addiction or hypersexuality: where one person reaches for the bottle, another uses sex to deal with negative emotions. Sex addictions are often the result of a negative self-image, low self-confidence, social isolation, or depression. In hypersexuality, you are obsessed with sex and it gets in the way of your daily functioning. 
• Problems with sexual orientation or gender dysphoria: Both singles and people in relationships may have doubts about their sexual orientation or their own sexuality. Perhaps you’ve suddenly begun to wonder whether you might be gay or lesbian, or feel like you were born ‘in the wrong body’.
• Paraphilic disorders: sexual preferences come in all shapes and sizes, but as soon as a preference deviates from what is considered common, we speak of a paraphilic disorder. Often people with a paraphilic disorder suffer a great deal from this and are ashamed of it.

Consequences of sexual problems

The consequences of untreated, sexual problems are often severe. And they are unnecessary. Not being able to perform well in bed causes shame and guilt, a negative self-image, and sometimes even depression. Problems with sex in couples also affect the relationship. Sex is not only important for intimacy and trust but also plays a role in the quality of our functioning, our creativity, and our happiness.

How does therapy with a sex therapist work?

You can go to therapy with a sex therapist alone or together with your partner. In the conversations, the cause of the sexual problems is determined. This could be physical, psychological, or relational. Through conversation therapy, often combined with assignments, the therapist works on solving the problems. If necessary, a sexologist can refer you to a gynecologist, andrologist, or other medical specialists.